Control Issues: Pt. 1: Mind

Updated: May 15, 2018

There are so many negative connotations around being in control. Making successful people out to be too bossy, too meticulous, and to have unrealistic expectations. But honestly, when it comes to being a future boss lady, being in control is the best thing to be.

This will be part one, out of a three part series talking about being in control and managing your own life. First thing we’re going to talk about is controlling your mind.

Sometimes it can feel like life is happening to you. You go through the motions of school, work, and the same old routine that you perform day in and day out. It's easy to get engulfed in the stress and anxiety of everyday life, which is why it's so important to be in control of your mind and emotions. Especially when you're juggling work, school, social life, relationships, and your future goals,

You are stuck with your thoughts every single minute of the day, and if you’re telling yourself that you’re not smart enough, attractive enough, or strong enough; nobody in the entire world is going to be able to convince you otherwise. Your life will then reflect those thoughts, pushing you further and further away from the life you want.

Making positive changes, doing better, and becoming successful starts and ends with the way you think. .

Tips for success for getting into the boss lady mindset:

1. Acknowledge that everyone has the same 24 hours. You have the same 24 hours as every billionaire, celebrity and successful person out there. Time is the one thing that is consistent and available to each and every individual, no matter how much money you have. All you have to do is figure out how to make your time more valuable and productive for yourself. Successful people are masters of time management. They know what their priorities are, they acknowledge that every minute of their time is valuable, and they choose to spend their time bettering themselves and working towards their goals. Just like money, you have to intentionally spend your time, and know exactly where it’s going.

2. Take responsibility for yourself. Take responsible for your happiness, for your success and for your faults. If you’re always late, acknowledge whether or not you’re OK with being that kind of person. If you’re not, then make a conscious effort to be at least five minutes early for everything you need to be at. You’re not the way you are because of anyone or anything else. Your habits, actions, and personality traits all stem from the way you think and the choices you have made throughout your life. If you want to be successful you need to start conducting yourself in a way you would expect from a CEO. Be on time, be honest, be assertive, celebrate your triumphs and learn from your mistakes.

3. Listen to your emotions. Sometimes ambitious people have a hard time with emotions, and they put them in a box that they neglect to open until it bursts. Your emotions have the power to destroy you if they’re not dealt with correctly, and any truly successful person is well-rounded enough to be a boss and a human. As there is always a time and place for everything, simply know when to show which emotions. Crying at work is pretty much never OK, unless you want to appear to be manipulative, weak or unprofessional. But it is completely OK and usually necessary to cry in your car or at home. Crying it out can be extremely healing and stress-reliving. Same goes for anger. If there is a situation that gets you truly angry, take some time before you react. Try to figure out why you’re angry and what’s the best strategy in order to get your point across.

4. Don’t be afraid to daydream a little. Many times throughout my day, I think about the type of life that I want. I think about the company I want to build, the clothing I want to be able to wear, how I would decorate my office. It’s so easy to feel defeated by the challenges and frustrations of everyday life and it’s even easier to be consumed by the mundane cycle. So instead of thinking about how much you hate what’s going on in your life, try daydreaming a little about the life you want to have. Then think about ways to get there.

5. Change your attitude. Again, your success rests heavily on the way you think, and nobody got anywhere by having a bad attitude. So if you don’t know how to do something, instead of allowing that to continue being a fact, learn. If someone says something cutting or hurtful, make your first thought be, “they’re wrong”, and don’t dwell on it. Reset your mind every day, and be ready to succeed. Be proud of someone before you’re envious. Make changes in your life, as opposed to throwing a constant pity party. Just make your mind and spirit as pure as possible, so that you can spend your time and energy focusing on the goal.

Having control over your mind is so important in order to be able to succeed, and it takes practice. It can sometimes be uncomfortable, as it always is when we move from our comfort zone. It’s just a matter of forming a habit, and when it’s second nature for you to think and act like a boss, nothing will be able to stand in the way of your goals.