Getting my Confidence Back

Graduating college and completely changing my lifestyle turned my world upside down. I felt out of sorts, uncomfortable and frustrated with my day to day life.

Things were happening around me that made me feel like I should be so happy. I had just gotten engaged, and I had moved in with my fiancé after dating for over four years. My best friend moved to the same city as me. It was a new year with so many promising opportunities, and yet I was just so bummed out.

Looking back now, I know that this came from the pressure I put on myself to absolutely flourish right after graduation. I expected myself to accomplish all of my goals, land a kick-ass job, and make so much more money, now that I had a degree. I had this attitude that since I worked all through college for this, it would just fall into my lap right after I walked across the stage.

I know now that you never stop working. There is always more to do. More to improve on. More to strive for. Nothing ever stops because there is always a bigger and better goal than what you are seeing right now.

But it took me being miserable and frustrated for a few months to finally come to that realization. It also didn’t help that I was spending more of my time complaining than working, and I had reverted to my self-care mode, where I only did things to try to make myself feel better. Like drink wine, wear comfy clothes and re-watch episodes of Sex and the City. But acting like that was like trying to put ice on a muscle that needed physical therapy. It helped a little bit, but there needed to be real action in order for anything to change.

The first step was the change the way I felt about myself.

Growing up with an athletic background, I knew that I would feel more confident if I was physically stronger. Due to the lack of excitement post-graduation, I also lacked the drive to workout daily. I would just come home from work feeling exhausted and defeated, drink some wine and go to bed. So my first step was to sign up for Jabz, which forced me to attend classes, and get in a really challenging hour of working out, 4-5 times a week. I also made the conscious effort to stop drinking soda, switch to coconut coffee creamer, eat salads for lunch, and cook at home.

The next step was to focus on my appearance and wardrobe. I consciously started wearing my best pieces, and taking a little more time in the morning for hair and makeup. I also made the effort to make sure my legs were shaven and moisturized, my skin was clear, and my nails were trimmed. Doing this, on top of working out and eating healthier made a huge difference in my personal self-confidence. After just a week I felt lighter and happier, and it became easier to focus on more important things in my life. Like my work and relationships.

Then to push myself a little more. I delve into my goals with full force.

I invested actual money into my brand, I started pulling later nights and earlier mornings, and I stopped thinking of them as dreams and started thinking of them as a career. Mentally, I had to remove myself from the “college girl” category and push myself into the “boss lady” category. Which has since given me the confidence and permission from myself to start acting and thinking like a career woman.

I'm in week four since I have made these changes, and I feel an immense difference within myself. I am more energetic, more ambitious and happier overall. It’s also a change that I don’t just feel personally, but in my relationships as well. I haven’t felt this close or connected with my fiancé in a really long time, and me being happier with myself has helped bring value to our relationship and home. I have also had more valuable conversations with my family-in-law, my brothers, friends, and parents. I feel like I have more positive things to say and I feel like we are having inspiring conversations as opposed to a constant string of vent-sessions.

Self-confidence is absolutely essential in the professional world and is even more important for the lady who dreams big.

It’s important to actually take a minute to think about what makes you feel great about yourself. What you love about yourself and what you would improve on. From there, make the changes so that you can take steps to becoming your most successful self. #FBL