...I Kind of Blew Off my Relationship.

Paige Beaubien Photography

When I first started dating Jared, I was really worried that my friends would feel like I was blowing them off — so I kind of blew off my relationship. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ When I first started college I was so worried about missing out that I kind of missed out on sharing that experience with him. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ When I started figuring out my career and who I was as a woman, I was so worried about being independent that I pushed him away and wouldn’t let myself depend on him at all. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Look, being a Boss Lady is a lot of pressure, and I have felt this intense expectation to not “need” a man. To the point where I often feel like I’m suppose to write off my relationship. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Which sucks. 😕⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ In the past couple months (post publishing haze) I have really seen and felt how much my relationship with Jared matters to me, and how much I’ve been missing by simply not allowing myself to acknowledge the true blessing I have.⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ I get to be in love. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Which is beautiful and special and NOT a bad thing! ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Since I have been with Jared I have graduated college, started and flourished an entire career in the bridal industry, published a book, and became an owner of a brand and company. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ I have my own money, my own friends, my own dreams, and my own life — and Jared compliments that in the best way. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ If there was any speculation that he would hold me back from being successful — I will be happy to prove otherwise over and over again. 😤⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ That being said, I take full responsibility for how I’ve navigated all of this, and all of the ways I have failed. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ Being more worried about other people’s expectations and judgment than my own happiness is 100% on me — and I think coming to that realization, and really trying to move past that, makes me more of a strong woman than anything else. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ My relationship with Jared doesn’t make me any less independently capable, less driven, or any less of a Boss Lady.⠀ ⠀⠀ It makes me more patient, accepting, and understanding — helping me become more like the woman I want to be. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ I am a strong, independent woman who loves her man, and he is a valuable part of my Future Boss Lady story. #FBL