Who You Should Actually Be Asking For Advice and Working Through Problems With.

Paige Beaubien Photography

At the bridal store we have girls that come in every day thinking they need to bring mom, sister, grandma, future sister and mother in law, and every bridesmaid in their wedding to their dress appointment. ⠀ ⠀ Which mostly leads to us not having enough chairs, a competition of who pulled which gown, and the bride people pleasing herself out of the dress she actually wants. ⠀ ⠀ When explaining a solution, my boss said something that was very profound, “only bring someone who has a similar style as you (or has a style that you admire yourself), and who’d you’d actually go shopping with on a regular basis.” ⠀ ⠀ She said this because if you’re looking for genuine advice, why not get it from someone you actually want to listen to? ⠀ ⠀ This 100% goes in other scenarios as well. If you’re looking for advice, whether it be about your relationship, your job, your friendships, your business — whatever it may be, you need to be asking the right people. ⠀ ⠀ Here are a few requirements I take into account when asking for advice or talking out a problem with someone: ⠀ ⠀ • They need to be in the same stage of life as me, or a step ahead. ⠀ ⠀ i.e. If I’m looking for relationship advice I’m going to talk to someone who is currently in a relationship, lives with their S/O, has been with their partner for a significant amount of time, and/or is married. ⠀ ⠀ I think about these things because I don’t want to be discussing personal hardships with someone who has absolutely no idea what I’m going through. ⠀ ⠀ • I admire the choices they’ve made. ⠀ ⠀ If I’m looking for advice I’m going to make sure I’m looking to someone I truly admire and respect. It’s definitely not a matter of copying but more about knowing their thought process and seeing if I can integrate those values my own way. ⠀ ⠀ • They are trustworthy and willing to share. ⠀ ⠀ Only seek advice from those you hold very close to you and those who you’d trust with your struggles and faults. You don’t want to have to filter yourself or worry about backlash when seeking genuine help.